Man Vs Mouse
© 2000 Paul Perkins
The manly mouse trap
With project MASKI
I had trouble determining if the scorpion was male or female. In
my intoxicated state I didn't bother to check for scorpion genitals.
Come to think of it, it's a good thing that didn't cross my mind.
It is scientific fact that mice eat grain and water.
Beer is made out of grain and water, so I figured it would make great
mouse bait. To make it thirsty I used an old bartender's trick and
provided salty pretzels.
By now you've probably noticed the extra ingredient
to the manly food... underwear models! I figured that if I was
using manly food, I'd go all the way with underwear models. (Wow, I'm
actually going all the way with underwear models!). I theorized
that if the mouse is male it will rush over to see the women, have some
pretzels, and drink beer. Then, in it's intoxicated state, it'll
swim over to the floating pretzel and fall victim to the trap.
Either that or it'll wander off and sleep with an ugly-ass mouse.
I crush the can for effect. Grrrr!
I think I was subconsciously showing off to the ladies.
It only took one beer to fill the beer bath.
Beer #2 was destroyed by internal digestion.