(Make A Scorpion Kill Itself)
Step Four: Improvising
An alternate plan...
That son of a bitch was irritated by the vodka, and tried to run away for a few seconds, but after that it just sat there.
I observed the scorpion for a couple minutes before I decided I needed something else. I placed the scorpion in a clean new glass, as not to contaminate the experiment. I had an unopened bottle of Maker's Mark (bourbon) which I couldn't bring myself to open. My wife has some fruity Schnapp's, but I couldn't do that to the poor little creature.
I scoured around and found a jar of Jim Beam mustard. As I write this I realize that I have no idea what alcohol content Jim Beam mustard has. Suddenly this doesn't seem all that scientific. Excuse me...
I'm back from the kitchen... Apparently Jim Beam mustard is made with "genuine Kentucky bourbon," but they don't list an alcohol content. Bastards. I can only assume that the alcohol is cooked off in the mustard making process.
Regardless, let's give that arachnid some mustard!
Watch me put the "tard" in mustard...